(Click Photos for Obituaries)
Let me begin by saying I am
humbled and honored to speak on this occasion to remember and celebrate the
lives of Annette and Haskell Tarlton.
Thank you to family for
gathering around Anita and Becky when needed most and to our local and extended
communities for the immense love, caring and concern. Your words and hugs have
been comforting up close and from afar.
Words…
I think about words that come
about in circumstances like this. Words like Unfathomable, tragic and horrific.
And rightfully so, a VOID. We know that Annette and Haskell in their 64 years
of marriage were pillars of the community as they demonstrated inclusion
without judgment, grace and peace in their sphere of influence.
And while that may seem to
leave a VOID, I look at the faces of their descendants and I see Expansion. I
see a Legacy being carried on with the same positive characteristics they’re so
deserving of being described as.
An apple is not just a fruit from a tree it is the birth of orchards.
I believe a little girl’s
first love is her Daddy and Anita and Becky always told me their parents were
their biggest cheerleaders. It was a role I knew I had to step into and that
she was worthy of. I’m sure Gene felt
this as well.
Anita has told me stories about
walking the beach and picking up broken shells or finding a wounded critter at
the farm and asking her Daddy to help it.
I was one of those wounded
critters, one of those broken shells she
brought into this fold 15 years ago. And I have observed, healed and
grown as a result.
What’s in a name?..
I’d been coming to SC all my
life and no relative ever called me David. No, my name was YANKEE. I joined the
Marine Corps and “once a Marine Always a Marine” was the saying, I had a new
name.
When Anita and I were engaged
she got a kitten from Jennifer and Kevin Ricketts. Anita was still working so I
got to take to kitty to the local Vet. I was greeted as Mr. Tarlton.
Anywhere we went, Anita and
Annette were known as Miss T.
Well we finally got married
and two years later moved in together combining households in a house I’d just
bought. I got my first pickup truck, because you know, Daddy always had one. (I
wasn’t raised on a farm) and I set about using the truck and a chain to uproot
some bushes.
With Anita watching I wrapped
the chain around the base and pulled away. The chain just came undone and there
sat the bush. I repeated the process with similar results. Anita held a hand
up, signaling to not even get out of the truck. She wrapped the chain around
the bush and I put it in gear and the bush came right out.
Anita rubbed her hands
together and said, “there ya go, now I’ve got to go powder my nose.” A snark
from the dainty feminine piano playing lovely woman I’d married.
We shared this story with her
parents, Haskell just beamed and Annette leaned in with a glance at me and told
Anita, “there’s a lot of city in that boy.” A snark from this woman of few
words.
My initiation had begun. The
new addition/ son-in-law was selected to make a mono-e-mono trip with
Father-in-Law Haskell to the beach house to do some work. Off we went down the
road with me driving his car. Now Mr. Haskell only turned on two things in a
vehicle, the ignition and the temperature control. Never a radio or GPS.
So…. Silence…. I could barely
stand to hear my own thoughts.
After about an hour, I said,
“Anita is the most wonderful human being I have ever met.” And quicker than you
can bat your eye he exclaimed, “THAT’S RIGHT!” While I pondered this instant cheer-leading for the next half our, he finally broke the silence with “There’s
Annette’s favorite store.” Thumbing over towards Tractor Supply. A snark from
this man of few words.
I was beginning to see the
light of what I was in for. I learned to enjoy the silence.
Numerous times I’d get a call
or be sent somewhere on behalf of the family and I’d be addressed as Mr.
Tarlton. Lord knows we’ve been to a lot of doctors lately and they assume the
same thing.
So, y’all can just call me
MR. T!
It’s a name I proudly accept
in light of who it originated from.
I’ve often said if you could
go shopping for in-laws, after scouring millions of online pages and every
mall, you’d choose Haskell and Annette Tarlton.
In walking around their home
these past couple of days, which was Annette’s parents home, I looked up at a
little cut-out in the ceiling molding and remembered Haskell telling me the
doorbell used to be there and in their early days of dating, Haskell had
brought Annette home and walked her to the door. One arm leaning against the
house, he leaned in for the goodnight kiss, she leaned back and the door bell
went ding!!
He said he was in the truck
pulling out of the driveway by the time it went dong.
Communication…
My memory is flooded with
kind words and encouragement from both Haskell and Annette. I once brought up a
hot topic so to speak and Haskell’s face got red and he started to say
something with his finger raised, but he shook his head and his face returned
to normal. He just wasn’t going to entertain ill thoughts and certainly not
speak them. Annette was the same. Always smiling, always looking for the
positive. Both of them were always teaching that the janitor was just as
deserving of respect as the professor or dean of the school.
Annette taught kids to
communicate with their fingers on a keyboard. Anita did similar. Becky
communicated behind the scenes of the education system with numbers (something
Annette and Anita claimed was a foreign language to them) and today, Amanda is
an advocate for those with communication difficulties, Melody teaches college
students to communicate by improving their writing skills, Drew communicates
life-saving stats for the injured and teaches others that skill, Tommy
communicates in terms of finances for clients, Ann Marie communicates on behalf
of a huge collection of material in a library, Brett is the best at
communicating with the kids. They mind, admire and respect him.
Haskell and Annette visited
each of us. No matter the distance.
They communicated that we
were all of equal value and important in their lives. They demonstrated the
most effective, respectful and loving communication. They walked their talk.
Annette and Haskell are the
ULTIMATE LOVE STORY in so many ways.
Not even in Death do they
part.
When Annette passed after
Haskell, I hugged Brett and said, “they were GREAT people and all we can do to honor them is
try to be like them.”
