Living Out Loud: Annette & Haskell Tarlton Eulogy 02-22-20

(Click Photos for Obituaries)

Let me begin by saying I am humbled and honored to speak on this occasion to remember and celebrate the lives of Annette and Haskell Tarlton.

Thank you to family for gathering around Anita and Becky when needed most and to our local and extended communities for the immense love, caring and concern. Your words and hugs have been comforting up close and from afar.

Words…

I think about words that come about in circumstances like this. Words like Unfathomable, tragic and horrific. And rightfully so, a VOID. We know that Annette and Haskell in their 64 years of marriage were pillars of the community as they demonstrated inclusion without judgment, grace and peace in their sphere of influence.

And while that may seem to leave a VOID, I look at the faces of their descendants and I see Expansion. I see a Legacy being carried on with the same positive characteristics they’re so deserving of being described as.

An apple is not just a fruit from a tree it is the birth of orchards.

I believe a little girl’s first love is her Daddy and Anita and Becky always told me their parents were their biggest cheerleaders. It was a role I knew I had to step into and that she was worthy of. I’m sure Gene felt this as well.

Anita has told me stories about walking the beach and picking up broken shells or finding a wounded critter at the farm and asking her Daddy to help it.

I was one of those wounded critters, one of those broken shells she brought into this fold 15 years ago. And I have observed, healed and grown as a result.

What’s in a name?..

I’d been coming to SC all my life and no relative ever called me David. No, my name was YANKEE. I joined the Marine Corps and “once a Marine Always a Marine” was the saying, I had a new name.

When Anita and I were engaged she got a kitten from Jennifer and Kevin Ricketts. Anita was still working so I got to take to kitty to the local Vet. I was greeted as Mr. Tarlton.

Anywhere we went, Anita and Annette were known as Miss T.

Well we finally got married and two years later moved in together combining households in a house I’d just bought. I got my first pickup truck, because you know, Daddy always had one. (I wasn’t raised on a farm) and I set about using the truck and a chain to uproot some bushes.

With Anita watching I wrapped the chain around the base and pulled away. The chain just came undone and there sat the bush. I repeated the process with similar results. Anita held a hand up, signaling to not even get out of the truck. She wrapped the chain around the bush and I put it in gear and the bush came right out.

Anita rubbed her hands together and said, “there ya go, now I’ve got to go powder my nose.” A snark from the dainty feminine piano playing lovely woman I’d married.

We shared this story with her parents, Haskell just beamed and Annette leaned in with a glance at me and told Anita, “there’s a lot of city in that boy.” A snark from this woman of few words.

My initiation had begun. The new addition/ son-in-law was selected to make a mono-e-mono trip with Father-in-Law Haskell to the beach house to do some work. Off we went down the road with me driving his car. Now Mr. Haskell only turned on two things in a vehicle, the ignition and the temperature control. Never a radio or GPS.

So…. Silence…. I could barely stand to hear my own thoughts.

After about an hour, I said, “Anita is the most wonderful human being I have ever met.” And quicker than you can bat your eye he exclaimed, “THAT’S RIGHT!” While I pondered this instant cheer-leading for the next half our, he finally broke the silence with “There’s Annette’s favorite store.” Thumbing over towards Tractor Supply. A snark from this man of few words.

I was beginning to see the light of what I was in for. I learned to enjoy the silence.

Numerous times I’d get a call or be sent somewhere on behalf of the family and I’d be addressed as Mr. Tarlton. Lord knows we’ve been to a lot of doctors lately and they assume the same thing.

So, y’all can just call me MR. T!

It’s a name I proudly accept in light of who it originated from.

I’ve often said if you could go shopping for in-laws, after scouring millions of online pages and every mall, you’d choose Haskell and Annette Tarlton.

In walking around their home these past couple of days, which was Annette’s parents home, I looked up at a little cut-out in the ceiling molding and remembered Haskell telling me the doorbell used to be there and in their early days of dating, Haskell had brought Annette home and walked her to the door. One arm leaning against the house, he leaned in for the goodnight kiss, she leaned back and the door bell went ding!!

He said he was in the truck pulling out of the driveway by the time it went dong.

Communication…

My memory is flooded with kind words and encouragement from both Haskell and Annette. I once brought up a hot topic so to speak and Haskell’s face got red and he started to say something with his finger raised, but he shook his head and his face returned to normal. He just wasn’t going to entertain ill thoughts and certainly not speak them. Annette was the same. Always smiling, always looking for the positive. Both of them were always teaching that the janitor was just as deserving of respect as the professor or dean of the school.

Annette taught kids to communicate with their fingers on a keyboard. Anita did similar. Becky communicated behind the scenes of the education system with numbers (something Annette and Anita claimed was a foreign language to them) and today, Amanda is an advocate for those with communication difficulties, Melody teaches college students to communicate by improving their writing skills, Drew communicates life-saving stats for the injured and teaches others that skill, Tommy communicates in terms of finances for clients, Ann Marie communicates on behalf of a huge collection of material in a library, Brett is the best at communicating with the kids. They mind, admire and respect him.

Haskell and Annette visited each of us. No matter the distance.

They communicated that we were all of equal value and important in their lives. They demonstrated the most effective, respectful and loving communication. They walked their talk.