If you really knew me...

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I'm what you'd call a highly emotional person. I guess for a guy that's a bit rare. I feel deeply. I weep. I sob. I convulse. I grieve. I lose sleep.

The election results had me stressed for a week. Just when I was getting back to normal, understanding we all just have to deal with it and accept the loss of hope for the immediate future, I got a call from a dear friend, one like a brother. We can argue from both sides and not feel personally attacked.

But here I am weepy again...losing sleep...

I have friends from the LGBTQ and other minority communities and they're dear to my heart as any and all friends are, though in my opinion they face different challenges navigating from the fringes of this evolving society we're creating as we go. And let us not forget the women and their underpaid, under appreciated stance in this culture of white guys in ties making the decisions for everybody.

The stories shared with me recently of the backlash they're confronted with from the arrogant and ignorant opposition is indeed heart wrenching. No one deserves to be mistreated, disrespected or served up a pie of inequality. NO ONE!

They've had racial slurs thrown at them in public. They've had homophobic gestures, death threats and even property damage cast upon them like they're the scourge of the earth. Like they're lower than human. They are highly educated and highly productive citizens. How can this be in this day and age? Their pain is real and their fear is understandable and valid. I can't help but feel that pain and fear. It is a regression, not a progression.

If my friend like a brother, could witness the love they share as I have, maybe his view would be different. As it stands, he claims he does not care who does what to whom, he just doesn't want to see it. He's, a very non religious person, but spouts the religious right's claim that "union" is okay, but not marriage. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Too much Fox News I'd say.

Call it a union, a partnership, whatever, now we're just down to semantics, but the baseline problem still exists. That people tend to reject what is unlike them. What they don't understand. And rather than try to understand it they just reject it. At the cost of growing, evolving and learning to love and accept while building a calmer, more peaceful society.

IMAGINE

The term marriage is not exclusive to the bible or any religion or any gender for that matter. Hell I can marry a nut and bolt together. To marry, or to join.

Calling two consenting adults in love and choosing to spend life together anything other than married is divisive. It is casting them into the pits of hell fire in a rage that demeans them as sub, unworthy, unequal, less than, stay on the fringe, you're not welcome here and maintains what society and millions of humans, millions of the so called "god's children" have worked to over come.

But the system has selected to regress. Like people of color have had to create their own television network, I'd imagine one for the gays will have to appear as well.  I must admit that I love Shonda Rhimes' TV shows. They challenge me. They make me uncomfortable. They stand for equality while presenting the injustice. They present what is real in society, even if I don't witness it daily.

Let me go further here to say that when I see two men kissing, I'm a bit uncomfortable. Not as much as I used to be but still uncomfortable. It doesn't bother me a bit to see two women kissing. I'm programmed. I need to be de-programmed. I need to be uncomfortable and accept what is real. Love is love is love is love. I admire so very much my friends Dave and Tony who have been a couple for 33 years as well as other gay and lesbian couples I have come to know and love and share life with.

Inclusion not Exclusion. Appreciation and Reciprocation. Acceptance and Equality.

IMAGINE

Another dear friend, like a sister, is pro gun and pro life. me too. But we differ significantly.
As to guns, I support the constitutional right to own guns, but in my opinion, not without limits. No one needs a bazooka.

As to life, I am not for abortions. My first wife aborted our second child. It hurt. It hurt like hell. But I support her constitutional right to choose. If we value life, then we must see that everything is living. We kill and eat living things in order to live. Now if you value humans over all other species, as though their life and plight is any different or came from some other place, than all the other life forces that breathe the same air, whose hearts pump the same blood through similar bodily systems, then you elevate your self to the authority to decide when life begins and who does and does not have the right to their own bodies.

I can understand wanting to be a voice, a champion for the weak, the unborn in this case. But to then be pro death penalty, pro war, anti welfare, anti birth control etc, is not respecting human life one bit. It is an attempt to legislate from a religious bent and unconstitutional.

IMAGINE


Maslow's Hierarchy of needs demonstrates that a healthy growth/evolution of self will become empathetic to the plight of others, especially the less fortunate.

Democracy is not perfect but it's great. I hold on to belief and hope that we will evolve. As the establishment crumbles it will strain to maintain power and control but change is inevitable. Change is good and evolution will bring equality.

After telling my friend like a brother that I'd be fine financially and as a white guy and a disabled veteran I'm not going to be the recipient of any discrimination or hate. I'm as privileged as it gets. But I told him, it's for the women and the minorities and the communities on the fringes that I worry and feel bad for. He asked, "why is that? Why should I give a crap?"

Being asked that, by someone I love and have known for fifty years, hurts. It means they don't really know me... at all.

IMAGINE

IMAGINE

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In Poker, there's always a tell...

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This election has upset a lot of people. Not only the majority in the U.S. but around the world as well. I've thought long and hard and will continue to contemplate the "WHY." But I find it less and less important as the days go by.

The implication, the aftermath, what we'll deal with in the near and long lasting future takes up more of my head space. I'm a bleeding heart Liberal. I'm a natural born white male United State citizen who also happens to be a Disabled Veteran. It hardly gets any more privileged than that. And I have never in my life, even after crawling through muck in Marine Corps Training have I ever felt the need to take a shower and just linger to wash the muck away than I have with the recent election results.

Okay, so I'm an optimist. One of the things that my wife admires about me most. I watched the press conference of the post President Obama and President Elect Trump meeting. Typically, The President was his classy self and most interested in what's best for the country. Trump was cordial, impressed and obviously over his head. But I believe all men who have entered the Oval Office for the first time knowing they will be at the Helm, have had that feeling. Especially an outsider to the Political realm.

(I hope one day in my life time, a woman gets to experience the same feeling.)

So Trump commented that President Obama was a good man. He was impressed. He stated that the President had shared with him vital, helpful information and some of the "high flying perks."

And there's the tell. I didn't see it at the time. I was impressed that Trump was outclassed and rather humble about it. That he acknowledged feeling appreciative of the President's helpfulness, albeit in the interest of the Country. And that Trump clearly stated he looked forward to "hopefully" many more meetings to learn the ropes of being an "insider" and as counsel. That last one really got me. I mean wow. Trump is interested in help from any direction, even from the perceived enemy.

The Tell...

Today I see in the news that Governor/Vice President Elect Pence has been named by Trump to be the transition coordinator or some such title, replacing the formerly named Governor from New Jersey Chris Christie. (can I roll my eyes at that selection now?... Thanks)

So back to the Tell... When I watched the Presidential Nominee's debates there was a Tell. When Trump stated that Secretary Clinton was a "such a nasty woman," in the immediate moment afterward, he smugly smiled. I could see the satisfaction in his face and it was disturbing. Then he straightened up and went back to the interested squint because Hillary didn't skip a beat and continued with her points.

With the assignment of Pence as the "Transition Grand Poo Bah," and Trump's same smug little satisfactory look after the "high flying perks" remark, I'm feeling as though Trump was as I first assumed" not really interested in governing in the first place but more interested in the power, the prestige, the perks and the ability to continue his life style at the expense of the tax payer. Not that he's ever paid his fair share as he's admitted and blamed the ability on Hillary. I'm absolutely sure he'll close those loop holes. NOT!!!! He'll be planning golf outings and various other outings with whom can tolerate him to gallivant the globe..

Pence is a religious lunatic of the most extreme measure. Anyone who would embrace "conversion therapy is truly out of touch, other worldly, fantasizing about some mythological deity and it's idea of human life. And the sickest person is the one who doesn't know they're sick. As Dr. Phil states, you can't fix what you won't acknowledge.

Note to those who voted for the "outsider." Game over! The ultimate insider has just been assigned! In two years when your asses are puckering from the growing national debt and higher taxes, remember I said this... "Rectum? Hell it nearly Killed em!" Bend over and say "Thank you sir, may I have another."

While I hurt for the fringes of our society in both the short and long term, I'm hoping and realizing that Trump can't deliver on his promises. As President Obama stated, the Presidency "amplifies" you. I have zero expectation that the office will change Trump. Pence has made it to the top of the totem pole and will be dancing on the streets of gold with jewels in his crown one day in his fantasy.

The evolution of our society will continue slowly but surely. Hillary won the popular vote and still lost. It's happened four times before and might happen again. I'm hoping Trump pulls the Rethuglican party down with him. That there is a mid term progress in 2018 for the liberals in both houses and that somebody has enough capitalistic sense to make Trump and Pence Voodoo dolls and offer them from an Etsy store, appear on Shark Tank and make it to QVC and HSN and become an over night multi millionaire!

I almost titled this post, "I'm mad as Hell and I'm not going to take it any more!" But all of us are going to take it. Right up the wazoo. Some will like it but many more will not. I'm sad, I'm hurt and I'm angry. But I have zero worries about me, but for the society I live in. I know, in time, we will continue to evolve beyond this set back. It is inevitable. You and I must believe this. The constitutional equality promised long ago will come. It will come either by peace or violence but it will come.  Likely by a little of both. Keep your head down and as a wise old sage of a write Tommy Tomlinson wrote, "we still have to go rake the leaves" and as the best blogger I've ever read, Jim Wright of Stonekettle Station writes, "it doesn't matter why, it matters what you're going to do about it."



(: - :)

It's TIME!!

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IT's TIIIIIME!!
Or so they exclaim as they announce the main event in a UFC event inside the fighting octagon.

It's time for me to get my "Out Loud," out loud concerning the current political state of things.

I'm finding it more and more difficult to understand how conservatives come to their conclusions. Very little of it makes any sense what so ever to me.

ABORTION

The religious right claims to be pro-life, yet they want to de-fund a helpful medical service like planned parenthood. And listen, Hillary and I and most liberals are not pro abortion. We're pro constitutional right to choose. I've been through this with my first wife who aborted our second child. I didn't like it one bit but it was her right.

GAY

Hillary and I are heterosexual and married. We're not pro Gay marriage, but again, we are pro constitutional right to get or not get gay married as you'd like.

GUNS

Hillary and I support your constitutional right to own guns under the 2nd amendment. We just feel that people are going to murder whether with their hands, poison, knives or guns etc. So, just as seat-belts were added to automobiles for your safety and the results are less lives lost. So too should we apply safety measures on the accessibility of guns to those who should not qualify. Like those on terror watch lists, no fly lists, suffering from mental disorders with better back ground checks and closing the gun show and internet loop holes. I served in the Marine Corps and shot guns from small to huge and I can tell you from experience no one needs an automatic weapon to hunt Bambi or protect their home. So, AR-15's, AK-47's et al and anything capable of a 15 round clip or higher should be banned from non military availability. Now as far as the police having these things and being militarized. We know that some thugs are going to get these weapons regardless of controls on our system and we don't want our protectors out gunned. (note to real gun radicals... you can not protect yourself from the military so forget the idea of a local militia against governmental tyranny)
In the end, all we can do is limit the ability of people to kill. We'll have murders but lets reduce the mass in size.

RELIGION

This country was not founded on Christian principals. In fact we were formed to escape a theocracy. Our constitution was formed to prevent governing from a religious stand point. It protects all of us with the right to choose which God we'd like to consider as our super hero / savior. It also clearly separates the church from the state. So, choosing to not afford your employees healthcare like birth control because it makes your choice of a God angry is unconstitutional! If you're going to have governing from a religious view, which all of them discount the other ones, then we might as well live in Iran and be under religious run sharia law. If you don't get that, then you're just unlawful, un-constitutional, un-American.

EQUALITY

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness....

It's high time for equal pay for women and equal employment opportunities for for those who have transgressed and paid their debt to society. This scarlet letter forever bull shit has got to stop. And helping the less fortunate is not only what the religions should do but the government with your tax dollars as well. There is a hell of a lot more corporate welfare than there is among the millions of little people. It's time for Blacks and Hispanics to be given equal footing. The browning of America is happening folks! You'd be best off if you'd let that sink in, besides just being a human and learning acceptance of all peoples. It's time for the 1% to pay their share of taxes. Period.

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To sum it up, if you don't like gay marriage, don't get gay married. If you don't like abortion, don't get an abortion. If you want to own guns, own guns, but you're not going to have the ability to murder in as large a numbers as maybe you'd like. If you just can't bring yourself to serve someone unlike you from your business, you're breaking the law and should not be permitted to serve any one. Listen, you can choose your friends and whom you invite to the gatherings at your home. But in public you will abide by the rule of law governed by the constitution!

I don't understand any person, especially a woman choosing to support someone like Trump who clearly appears to be the opposite of all he claims to be. He strongly resembles the "white guys in ties" that have gotten things so screwed up. He strongly resembles words like Bully, Womanizer, Disrespectful, Narcissist, Vulgar, Dishonest and a general Train Wreck. Even if you despise Hillary Clinton!

I was a right wing conservative for most of my life and not due to critical thinking. I was just ushered into it due to the military. But I learned to be accepting, no matter my religious views or personally held beliefs that the constitution and equality are far more important than any idea of a deity and the law of the land I love so much.

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It's finished :)

Bipolar (look there's a squirrel) fun.

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"Mr Manic is back," she proclaimed. Hell I was just happy to be off my ass for a change. Three months of mending a broken leg from snow skiing was definitely a pain in the ass, both figuratively and literally.

So... I'd been knowing the house was going to need painting. I hoped I could hire someone to do it. Having a cold beer is always a better option in my mind than toiling in the hot sun. But I had energy built up and I had a gallon of paint I'd bought 6 months ago. Woohoo let's have at it, tomorrow. Mean time I need some more of that tasty Championship mix and Mama needs a crock pot. I hop online and order both, requesting the crock pot go directly to Mama.

Next day I'm all over the painting and in a 1/2 day I paint one small section realizing this is going to take a lot longer than anticipated. Another full day and I'll have the deck area done. Don't want to over do it on this knee.

Up and at em again the next day and in half the time I thought, I'm finished. Covered in paint from elbow to finger tips and a spot here and there on calves and knees. Clothes... forget it.

Feeling good about it, time to head to Lowes and get some more paint! While there hey lets get one of those things we can wind the hose up in. It'll look better than hanging it on the way thingie.

Get home with the paint and hose winder thing and hey look packages on the porch! Unload the car, bring the packages in and...
DAMNIT! I got two 10 pound bags of munchy mix stuff instead of two cases of 7 ounce bags!!! Next package is Mama's crock pot. At my house! ARRRGGGGhhhhh!!!

Moving on... let's install the hose thing... first remove the hanger one and dispose of the old hose. Okay... why in the hell won't this hose disconnect from the spigot? Go in house, down stairs to garage and get a pair of channel lock. Back up stairs through house and out onto deck and... Daaayaamn! Back through house and down stairs to garage for another pair of channel locks. Back up and through and Daayamm! WTF??? Hit a few times, that'll work! (Dad's theory was always, if it won't go, force it!) Well Daayamn! Now I've pulled the screw holding the spigot out from the wood siding of the house!

The fun and feeling of accomplisment is quickly fading. Head into the house for a screw driver and a longer screw. Head is too small get a washer too! Okay spigot back on house but still can't break hose free. Back into house to get knife. Out to cut hose. Agggghhh, jammed the rusty blade into my palm. Curse curse, heading into house for bandaid. back out to carry old hose to truck and toss in the bed. Head into garage for a hose repair coupling... uhh... don't have one. Okay, back up stairs, remove spigot from house, pull line through enough to disconnect then put the lil somebitch in a vice and beat on it! Ahhh hell, I gotta go inside and turn the well breaker off. Back out and... open sigot to relieve pressure... why is it still running??

Into and through house and down to garage and under house in crawl space to turn feeder valve off. On way out of crawl space I spy a long forgotten previously modified hose. Go to garage and get screw driver, back under house and agggghhh jammed screwdriver under the quick on my thumb! Blood all over, back to garage for knife, back under house, cut hose and remove fitting. Head through garage and... daayamn! Back under house to turn feeder valve back on.

Out from under house, through garage, up stairs through house and down deck to modify unremovable hose. Got it. Finally an operation in futility tames to an operation in frustration. Now for the test.... no water, WTF?? Back into house to turn breaker back on. back out and... hey it works! No drips no leaks tons of errors. Remount spigot and install new hose to winder up thing and hook it all up to the newly modified old hose that can NEVER be removed from the spigot. Test... all freking done, it works and... 

Remember the words of my first father in-law who taught me carpentry plumbing and electrical skills, "if you bend three nails pack up your tools and call it quits for the day."

I'd already, during all that up and down and in and out (that has no sexual innuendo!) I'd staged all I needed to start painting another section of the house.

But instead I'll put all these tools away and have a cold one! Cheers!!!

Now, does anyone really wonder why I like beer so much? Obvious to the most casual observer. And hey, the house is still standing!

 Look there's a squirrel! :)

Nature's disturbing ways

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I came home and drove to the back yard to unload some supplies for an upcoming celebration. I startled the wild life. Birds flew away, squirrels scampered away to the safety of a nearby tree and a family of Canadian Geese stood and ambled into the water.

Since I'm  on crutches myself, I had to wait for my wife to make her way through the house and down the stairs to open the basement. I took a moment to smell the roses so to speak. I noticed that one of the Goslings was peep peep peeping away and having a tough time getting to the water. The adult Geese peered from the water, hesitant to return to the cries of its offspring in light of my presence. My wife came out and we went down to see if we could help.

The Gosling had managed to hobble into the bulrushes at the waters edge, getting stuck, while struggling and pleading for it's parents. Under their watchful eyes, I stooped and lifted the fearful fur ball and tossed it into the water near it;s parents. We watched as the family turned to paddle away. The little one struggling as it listed to the left. The family slowed their pace. We returned to our task of unloading the car.

An hour later while relaxing on the back deck, I surveyed and noticed the family had returned to the shore in a neighboring yard. Mom and Dad sat with heads high on visual alert. Two of the three Goslings pecked the ground for food and there, by Mama Goose's breast was the little one I'd returned to them earlier. Exhausted, it just laid 

in a heap of fluff.

Soon Dad stood and sounded a gentle call to leave. He and two little ones made their way to the water as Mama stood over her main concern. She stepped away reluctantly, turning to give a whispered invitation, followed by an urging, hopeful bark. The little one tried to stand but wound up on it's back with feet paddling in the air. Mama stepped towards, Daddy barked, the little one righted itself. Wore out from the struggle it settled back down.

I'm watching and wondering, do I intervene? Can I get a net and go get it and take it to a rescue? Not likely in my own hobbled state. So I watch and tears form in my eyes as my heart aches.

Little one made it up and in the most pitiful manner, rocked and rolled its way yo the water where the family once again swam off, the one struggling to stay upright. They disappeared behind a dock and I haven't seen them since. I can't imagine the Gosling survived and I don't want to imagine the pain of the Mother.

Nature sucks sometimes. Maybe I should have intervened. I can't get it out of my  mind. My mind wanders to my pet mallards when I was just a young boy. I got them as ducklings and as adults I could whistle and they'd come to me like a family pet. I should've intervened...?

I'm disturbed by the part of me that did not intervene. We should do good where and when we can. I hope my optimistic soft-hearted nature is not hardening.

DW