Swan Song

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I have no productive thoughts...

Yesterday I found a similar pain, so severe that'd I'd experienced it only once before and oddly or maybe appropriately, 35 years later, it has the same source.

Words like betrayal and deception pervade and dominate my thoughts. They cut deep, beyond flesh or tissue or bone type pain, to my core. My very being is disturbed, unsettled, ill-at-ease.

All organisms seek to survive. To continue their existence and as Maslow's Hierarchy so accurately points out, we as a specie seek comfort in our surroundings and preferably until it permeates our core, our very being. Though the struggle, the challenges may aid in our growth along the way, we yearn, we seek peace, within and all about.

Trust is a word that if it were an element on the periodic table of human interactions, might possibly be the heaviest of all needs in successful, healthy relationships.

What is one to surmise of humanity. That it is good? In hope with optimism that good exists in all? Or that self service is the more dominant trait?

What is it truly that experience of life, the journey teaches us? That in the most basic of instincts, through survival we get ours and to hell with the rest.

We choose to focus on one or the other and approach all others with the attitude each provides.

Words, words dance around in thoughts, some productive, some destructive. who or what is in control of these words and their effect?

We each bear the responsibility for the energy we bring into a room. It is my hope that my swan song, my legacy to have brought a positive light into the darkness that we all entertain too often. I choose optimism as the best survival tactic in the best interest of self and society.

My experience teaches me that writing is the most therapeutic thing and in doing so I am finding myself able to choose productive thoughts. That at my core, in my innermost being, there is hope and optimism that outweighs the darkness and negativity that seeks to survive, dominate and produce it's effect on self and others.

Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference.