I said I do and I meant it

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It's been an adventurous month with three trips to the Emergency Room with my wife in the clutches of a life threatening Myasthenia Gravis Crisis. It's like watching a loved one drowning, gasping for air.  The last incident found us on the living room floor together with her face pale, lips turning blue and eyes rolling back in her head while I'm trying to resuscitate her. She regained consciousness and faded again and further efforts brought her back again.

It was an incredible adrenaline rush and I beat the emergency squad to the hospital by 12 minutes. It has also turned out to be quite a bonding event. She's extremely thankful and appreciative and I know she'd do the same for me. We live by appreciate and reciprocate. I told her she'd have to fight harder than that to get away from me.

It reminds me of a scene from one of my favorite movies, The Matrix, in which Neo saves Trinity.

Please take a moment to watch this video clip.

To me, the bullet that hits Trinity is the disease of Myasthenia Gravis trying to take the life of my wife and on my watch it's going to face a battle with me. It may weaken her but it's got more than her to contend with.

She is indeed an MG Warrior 

and we're thankful for the team of Dr's helping in their areas of expertise, the many friends who've offered help and kindnesses along the way. The various medications and finally making it to the best MG Clinic in the country at Duke University has brought a psychological victory that is relieving symptoms immediately. There's light at the end of the tunnel.

I've been in a state of hypervigilance for Anita's every breath, every swallow. I'm feeling I can relax a bit. We're learning the signs and symptoms of when to slow down and that there will be good and bad days.

But together we'll make it to a new normal. 

A reasonable quality of life.

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On a personal note, I looked in the mirror last night after washing my face and for the first time in decades, I appreciated what I saw. I feel like I'm seeing what I've wanted to be. I feel like I was tested and I've demonstrated my mettle. It feels good.

met·tle

ˈmedl/

noun

1. a person's ability to cope well with difficulties or to face a demanding situation in a spirited and resilient way.

   
   

   "the team showed their true mettle in the second half"

   
   

   synonyms:

   spirit, fortitude, strength of character, moral fiber, steel, determination, resolve, resolution, backbone, grit, true grit, courage, courageousness, bravery, valor, fearlessness, daring; ---

I said "I DO" and I meant it. In the good times and bad. In sickness and health, for richer for poorer. I was absolutely euphoric when the Pastor said I present you newlyweds David and Anita.

I'd sleep on the floor like a dog next to Anita with one ear open for her breathing and one eye open for anything that can harm her. I can't find sufficient words to describe all that she is to me.
I know how she was feeling when we met and I know how she feels now and that, makes me feel successful and happy in a healthy way.

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